The World is Sick

Ouch

This post is entirely unrelated to any sort of exams, stress, non-stress, and withdrawal symptoms from not having my gaming fix. I am here to complain about fish.

Just a few short hours ago, I had fish for dinner. It was a small fish. Tubular body. Known commonly as the mullet, this fish really doesn’t taste that bad. I consider it lucky to get this fish instead of something else, like pomfret. Long story short, I got a fish bone stuck in my throat.

No other animal presents this problem. Well, they have other problems, but these all arise from poor cutting techniques. If I believed in an intelligent creator, I’d say that fish were designed to kill people. Every bite you take is a risk. Every time I try putting that soft, white pseudo-meat in your mouth, I hope that I don’t find anything hard in there. Fish bones aren’t just annoying, they’re also hard and sharp. They’re spears, waiting to rip through the delicate flesh of your mouth and throat.

To make it worse, fish are… fishy. Fish is the only food which can be described as an adjective derived from the root word in a negative sense. No one ever complains about chicken being too chickeny. Or tomatoes being too tomato-ish. Hell, the more chickeny chicken is, the better. Chicken burger. Extra chicken. Plus bacon. Ah, bacon. The greater the intensity of bacon, the better. More is always merrier, shut up.

It’s probably quite clear that I don’t enjoy the flavour of most fish. Generally, I get to eat pomfrets, groupers, mullets, and some other fish which looks suspiciously like the Tiktaalik. I don’t eat them every day, but I loathe meals where they are the main dish. Pomfret- tasteless white. This fish has the least flavour of all animals commonly eaten by Man. Even tofu has more flavour than it. I enjoy eating tofu and rice more than pomfret with rice.

I feel a dull ache in my gullet. At a completely different location from where the initial stabbing pains were earlier. There’s a reason why people fillet their fish. So that they don’t have to have their mouth and throat stabbed with anything other than forks.

It’s just not worth it. If food is hard to eat, it has to taste good. On a related note, food that is unhealthy should always taste good. If not, that food doesn’t deserve to be called food. It’s poison. People who sell poison to hungry people under the guise of food should stop.

Anyway, I have an exam tomorrow. This is bad news, because my mother has this weird notion about fish being “brain food”. I’m going to eat tasteless white protein slivers masquerading as animal flesh for the next couple of weeks. Whoohoo.