The World is Sick

Dear Catholic Church: I have discovered the antichrist

Or at least, some low level demon that any good soul should slay on sight.

Well, it is about to be six weeks now. The food is great, the weather is great. Even the shitty internet has given me the opportunity to find something else to do; that is, play old games on an SNES emulator. What is not great, however, my immediate company. Samson is a bloody pain in the ass.

It is physically nauseating, knowing that I still have another seven weeks to spend with this asshole.

He’s just very unfun to be around in general. He doesn’t understand my jokes, so I basically have nothing to say to him. He makes terrible jokes, so I wish he would just stop talking. Oh, and that voice of his. No, wait, that’s not the biggest problem. It’s his laugh. That laugh is the stuff of nightmares. It’s the sort of thing that you’d hear if the Wicked Witch, Daffy Duck, and a dying velociraptor were combined. It actually makes watching The Big Bang Theory and Futurama less fun.
Speaking of unfun. There were a lot of places that I wanted to see here in Sydney.

But when I thought that, I was under the impression that Gerard would be here to distract Samson for me. I wanted to see museums, the zoo, the aquarium… But after visiting the Australian Museum with Samson, I just don’t want to go anywhere anymore. Staying at the apartment with my earphones on and playing SNES games sounds like much better deal to me now. He’s just not fun to be with at all. He doesn’t hang around to read the plaques. He just glances around, and then stands there watching me impatiently while I try to acquire some knowledge. It’s extremely unnerving and irritating. In the end, our visits to places basically a become  “let’s take photos and move on” sort of thing. Not once did I ever stop and think, mm, this is awesome. No, it is not awesome. Awesome would be going to these places with someone who isn’t a whiny little bitch who sounds like a human-duck hybrid.

It’s not just how he’s a total killjoy. We have this sort of unspoken arrangement where he does most of the cooking and I do the washing. Initially, I had no problem with this. But his cooking really isn’t as good as he thinks it is. I have no idea where he got the idea that he was a good cook from. He doesn’t even know how to make proper bacon. How hard is it to make bacon? Just fry it until it’s dark and crispy, and when it smells good. It’s very easy to tell when bacon is cooked enough. But noooo, this bugger DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. So yeah. My point is that he’s quite a shitty cook and I could easily make the things that I enjoy without him.

…. Also the annoying little yutz has no idea what the capacity of the human stomach is. A sandwich for lunch? That’s two slices of bread with some bacon(which would have been severely undercooked had I not told him to fry it some more) and an egg. This was right after I discovered that he left two mouthfuls of cereal in the box after his breakfast yesterday. Really. Two mouthfuls. Leaving a tiny pittance of a breakfast for the next person. Very nice.

Oh, and another related kitchen matter. When he does decide to wash a dishplate or two… frankly, he’s terrible at it. All he does is rub a wet sponge gently over them and then rinse them off. It’s gross. Oh, and then he doesn’t wash the sponge. That’s even more disgusting. Sometimes he just leaves the sponge in the sink. Fucking bastard.

I just can’t stand this guy. He takes all the fun out of things that I love. And he has this irritating habit of looking through the frosted glass window of my bedroom. This is AFTER I’VE GOTTEN OUT OF THE SHOWER AND I’M PUTTING MY CLOTHES ON. Most frustrating of all, he keeps taking peeks into my computer screen while I’m typing, so I can’t complain freely about him. What a jackass. It’s like having my mother here.

For the above reasons, I am pretty pissed about Gerard not coming. How dare he leave me alone here with this nutcase. I could care less about the rent money if I had something to preserve my own sanity. I really need to find someone or something to ditch him with. Or maybe a crippling accident. That would certainly solve the problem of him always being there when I go places.